(269):

i would so wage war on Mexico for you.

(920):

I hid the body…now what?

(920):

Run like hell. Move to Canada, they never expect Canadians. They’re all retards!

(541):

walmart’s too busy…

(541):

Oh?

(541):

yeah… crowded and smells funny.

(541):

eew. like… redneck funny smell or doctora office funny?

(613):

When I’m depressed I like to cut myself…. A huge slice of cake!

(418):

i’m going to poke you in my bed

(530):

what?

(418):

you read me.

(417):

just hoping you’ll get well

(650):

why thank you, mysterious stranger of the unknown! :D may i ask who this is? :o

(417):

you can guess ^-^

(650):

Guess? What a perplexing and puzzling predicament! :o well i gtg mysterious stranger, but i shall figure it out and succeed on this identity crisis!

(910):

I need a flavor.

(919):

Ok. Chocolate? Vanilla? I hear strawberry’s nice this time of year.

(269):

GUESS WHAT

(269):

Um, you have been accepted into a group of ninja polar bears and they are deporting you to a mansion in Peru for your training?

(269):

How the f*** did you know?!

(269):

B**** I’M MAGIC.

(408):

What ever you don’t pick up off the floor goes into the spaghetti

(401):

Maybe you’re going to projectile vommit… HAVE FUN.